Spring 2019

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Living in a fishbowl isn’t as fun as you might suppose. Sure, you get
a lot of attention, but, sometimes, it isn’t the kind you were hoping for.
Sometimes you wish that when you fail, every now and then, no one
would see or care.
How do you deal with the pressure of achieving“perfect family”status all of
the time? How do you make sure the inside of the cup matches its exterior? What
do you do when your family doesn’t qualify for the cover of the next “Perfect
Christian Family”magazine?
All of us struggle from time to time with keeping a proper perspective in the
midst of curious onlookers. When you grow up in a family that publishes books
and national publications (as I did), which are committed to upholding Godly
standards for families, you can be assured that you will be watched. Every word
uttered, or written, is critiqued by thousands.
For better or for worse, we are noticed. We are scrutinized and examined from
every angle. I would guess that your family is under inspection as well. Maybe it’s
on a smaller scale, but it exists just the same. How do you deal with it?We want to
strive to reach the standard of perfection God has commanded, but we must not
live our lives based on the expectations of other people.
What Is The Standard?
The biggest struggle in this area is to maintain proper perspective. We must
keep in mind what perfection is, how we discover it, and what to do if we
fall short.
“As for God, His way is perfect. God is my strength and power, He maketh
my way perfect (2 Sam. 22:31, 33).” Not only is God Himself the standard of
perfection, He is the only source of strength from which we can attain perfec-
tion. We constantly keep the face of God before us. We look not to the right
or the left, but fully “unto Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith.”
(Heb. 12:2)
How do people generally respond to the standard of
perfection?
In my experience, there are a few reactions.
• They despise any standard of holiness. I’ve noticed that
people tend to reject any absolute which makes a demand on
their life. Autonomous humans want to be their own God. They
don’t want any external imposition.
I’ve heard dozens of people comment on how they hate
magazine and book covers graced by “perfect” families. Every
child smiling, every hair in place, and everyone in matching
outfits (which are clean, by the way). One lady told me, “Those
images don’t reflect where I live. I have rowdy children and
peanut butter on the walls.” Even if those pictures don’t reflect
our personal experience, why do we rebel against them and
despise them? Is it because we believe the cover family is be-
ing hypocritical? Or is it because we fear they may be genuine?
• They Idolize “Perfect” People. Then, there is the opposite
extreme. There are groupies who hang on every word spoken
The Perfect Family Syndrome
BY ISRAEL WAYNE, HOMESCHOOL IOWA 2019 CONFERENCE KEYNOTE SPEAKER